WOW!!  Where has this season gone?  Just like that I am behind on my blog and my life continues to move forward like in 2X Fast Forward speed!  So, just like with triathlon, you make a plan to get to your goal.  The goal here is to catch up on my blog.  So here is the plan for the blog.  There are 4 posts to write to catch up to where I am and how I got there.  Post #1:  Boulder Sprint and Boulder Peak: Lessons Learned.  Post #2  Training on Pike’s Peak.  Post #3:  Ironman Louisville.  Post #4:  My Life as it Currently Stands.  Today:  Post #1.  Again, where has the season gone?  Boulder Sprint and Boulder Peak are behind me.  Great races.  Great times.  Great stories.

I haven’t done a Sprint distance race in years.  They are short and fast.  Coming off on an Ironman and a 70.3 this race was over before it even began for me.  To put it in perspective, most people finish a sprint race before some people are finished with an Ironman swim.  This ended up being a pretty special race for me because it was Father’s Day and Steve 6.0 and I had his kids, Shaun,  and his mom with us for the day.  His kids made the cutest signs for cheering us on at the race.  Full color plastered with stickers and Happy Father’s Day messages for Daddy.  It was awesome.   My plan for the day was to do the race, eat some food, and take off on my bike for home to make the day a longer training day for Louisville.  Steve and I made it out to the race by 5:15, got great transition spots and went back to the car to chill out before suiting up to warm up for the day.  The swim was quite lovely and very enjoyable.  No issues.  Sighted great and swam great.  Transition to bike was great.  I love the sprint bike course.  No hills to speak of.  Not a flat course, but not hilly either.  Keith loaned me his TT bike and race wheels for this race because he is going to let me ride the Isaac for Louisville, so I had a good time on the bike.  However, in the interest of honesty and not sugar coating my life, I have been feeling very not strong and definitely not very fast, but more important, I haven’t been feeling like I am racing.  The feeling is more like I am just going through the motions.  I am not feeling competitive.  Granted, I don’t ever win my age group, but I always feel like I am racing.  I don’t want to be passed and I give everything I have to give.  I have to acknowledge this to figure out what the issue is.  Maybe it is my mind, maybe it is my inconsistency in training this year, or maybe I am just tired.  Not sure.  So I thought I was pushing a bigger front ring on the TT bike than I was-it was a good excuse while it lasted!!  The run was a pre Ironman Andrea run.  It was not my best, but not my worst either.  Last year I learned what it was like to actually race while running.  It is that feeling of knowing when to respond and that when you do respond that you will win.  It is knowing that you have done everything you can do to be prepared for the day.  It is knowing that you are doing your best and if you gave anything more you would fall over dead or poop your pants.  I didn’t have any of that in this run, but I did run the whole thing and I was happy.  It was more a training day than a race.  I don’t think I like that.  Overall, I had a great day being outside, enjoying my family, and getting to see people in my community that I haven’t seen since I divorced and moved.  I did make one fatal error this day.  An error that I know how not to make, but I was lazy.  I did not pack food to eat after the race to fuel myself for the ride home.  The food after the race was cereal.  Yeah-Wheaties.  REALLY??  Cereal and milk.  This makes me a little sad that WTC, the entity that bought the Boulder Series, is going to do with these races.  Anyhow, LESSON LEARNED again:  Be responsible for myself and my needs.  I didn’t ride my bike home.  We hung with the kids in the water and took Steve out for Father’s Day brunch instead and discussed what we wanted to do for Boulder Peak.

“Why is this thus?  What is the reason for this thusness” -Artemus Ward

Boulder Peak:  I didn’t want to do Boulder Peak.  However, I had to stay close to home this year, so I signed up.  Packet pick up day rolls around and I am still not feeling the love for Boulder Peak.  Don’t get me wrong-it’s Boulder and there is great competition at this race.  It is the premier race in Colorado, but it is Boulder Peak.  I have done it a million times and am over it.  The run course is always brutal.  Granted, it is flat, but it is HOT!!  There is no shelter from the sun and did I mention it is HOT!!  What do I do in this situation?  It is foreign to me.  I have never not wanted to race.  I love racing.  It is the reward for all of the sacrifice and the hard work.  Waking up early in the morning to swim or run.  It is the diamond the sweat and the tears shed on the track  have formed.  It is the finish line for a moment.  Friends are gathered.   Threats are marked.  Egos are checked.  It is the end of a process.  The beginning of the next process.  The storm after the calm.  It is racing.  It is awesome.  It is what drives me to get out of bed in the morning.  Not this time.  Again, what do I do in this situation?  I don’t know this feeling.  Go through the motions.  Yes.  That is the answer.  By the time I get my wetsuit on and jump in the water I will be fine.  Off to packet pick up.  Packet pick up issues that were experienced at Boulder Sprint were fixed and we were in and out in no time at all.  Still not feeling the love.  10pm rolls around.  I better get my race stuff together and put my number on my bike.  Alright.  Going through the motions.  I will be fine.  Wake up.  Don’t want to get out of bed.  It is very tempting to just turn over and go back to sleep.  Go through the motions.  Get up.  Get dressed.  Eat breakfast.  Drive to the reservoir.  Put my bike in transition.  Go back to the car.  Still not feeling the love.  Go through the motions.  Sunblock on.  Body Glide smothered over my body.  Wetsuit slides on.  Go swim.  The water is lovely.  Line up.  Go through the motions.  Buoys set up funny-40 degree first turn not 90.  Remember that.  Horn goes off.  I swim.  I think, I love swimming.  It is easy for me.  It is where I am most confident and comfortable.  Waves, hurricanes, current-bring it.  Just keep swimming.  Off course-made a 90 instead of 40-fix it.  Swim swim swim.  There is the finish.  Still not feeling the love.  Get on your bike and get going.  Take it one step at a time and before you know it you will be crossing the finish line.  I don’t want to climb Old Stage today.  Get on your bike.  I don’t want to run the course today.  Get on your bike.  Biking.  Swerving while putting my feet into the pedals.  Still feel like I am pedaling a bike that has both brakes squished tight against the wheels.  Just bike, get warmed up.  One thing at a time.  People passing.  Don’t care.  Don’t want to ride my bike today.  How does one DNF?  I’m not really sure.  Do I say I flatted?  Do I say I had a mechanical?  Just ride silly.  Don’t care.  Hit bumps.  Make a sharp right turn on a dirt road.  Ahh relief.  Come to a crossroad.  Get off my bike and sit on the side of the road and smile.  I am not going to climb Old Stage today.  How does one DNF?  Wait a few minutes.  Enjoying the stillness.  Ride my bike back to the reservoir.  Run into Jordan-”What are you doing-specatating today?” he asks.  ”Nope.  I just quit.  I didn’t want to race.”  That is how you DNF.  Saw Michele B on the way out maybe she is still there on the side of the road waiting for Anthony to come  back from his bike ride.  Put my bike in the car.  Put my sundress on.  Find Michele.  Talk.  She is worried that I am not alright.  But funny thing is that I am more alright than I have been in a long time.  That is how you DNF.  You just stop.  Put your bike away.  Put on your clothes and walk back to the race and cheer your friends on.  Smile.  That was easy.  Steve 6.0 had a PR and a great day and I got to see him coming back in on the run.  How awesome is that?  But still-why is thus?

“It is better wither to be silent, or to say things of more value than silence.  Sooner throw a pearl at hazard than an idle or useless words; and do not say a little in many words, but a great deal in a few.” Pythagoras

This was the first time I had the possibility of running into Steve Pye and Sarah since his affair and our split. How will I handle it?  I put my thoughts together on how I want to handle the situation and felt good about my plan.  I did indeed see  Sarah and Steve together at the beginning of the day and much to my surprise I smiled and found myself feeling rather undisturbed.  There is no hurt or anger, only a feeling of extreme peace and happiness. Unbeknownst to me right after good Steve crossed the finish line Steve Pye was sitting not 2 feet away from us.   He is sitting and there are 3 women surrounding him rubbing his shoulders, touching his leg, and being as close as they possibly can to him.  Mind you Sarah is still off racing and not one of the 3 surrounding him.  Again, a wave of peace comes over me and at that moment I am left with that happy feeling again.  I stand a little taller and I smile a little bigger.   It is no longer mine and it never was.

LESSEN LEARNED: I should have never signed up for a race I knew I didn’t want to do.

LESSON LEARNED: I have myself back and I am surrounded by goodness.

LESSON LEARNED: Rely on myself for my special needs

LESSON LEARNED:  Life is practice.

“If you aren’t in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.”-Jim Carrey