I am what I consider to be fat, out of shape and unmotivated. Steve was running a 10K this weekend and I did not participate. It gave me the opportunity to reflect on myself and examine the sadness I felt about my current condition. If I had to choose one word to summarize the place where I am it would be unhealthy. I have been focused on losing weight and building financial security instead of being healthy, which has created a state of discontent and lack of interest in a lot of things.

This process is difficult, but my goal with it is to get my raw self exposed and have it help me evaluate what is important to me. I made a list of my priorities and put how much time I spend on them and rated them according to their importance to me.

Health
Family
Work
Creativity
Socializing

What I found was not surprising. The amount of time I spend with each category is unbalanced with their importance to me. It looks something like this:

Work
Family
Creativity
Health
Socializing

Being aware of the imbalance shown in these 2 lists opens up the possibility of actively being engaged in making different decisions. These lists helped me come up with some ideas of how to put myself back on the path of health.

The next thing I did was evaluate how I feel in relation to my body. I have a muffin top and I do not want to put a swim suit on. When I look at these superficial feelings and look back ( I really don’t like to look back but I think this one is good) at the time when I was the most fit it was really not about how I looked but about how I felt. Even when I was super fit I thought I was chunky. The fact of the matter was I could wake up at 5:30 spring out of bed, work, train, and accomplish my other goals, and sleep well at night. I want that feeling back again!

I have committed to doing bootcamp on Mondays, Thursdays, and possibly every other Saturday morning. This is a good place for me to add to my current running. Another after work habit I have developed is having a glass (or 2 or 3) of alcohol. This is no bueno for feeling healthy! It interrupts my sleep and keeps me holding onto fat reserves to process the alcohol-so as part of my plan to be healthy I will also cut back on my alcohol consumption.

The last thing I would like to execute is to blog regularly. I was gonna do the whole 90 posts in 90 days but that feels a little overwhelming. So, I will write at least once a week for the next 3 months.
Blogging helps me see patterns in my behavior and my thoughts, and I believe it helps keep me honest with myself.

“See” you next week!

Lots of inspiration lately.  Following ultra runners again and being inspired to run/train.  Many cool things are happening-the biggest thing for me is the Cheyenne Mountain Trail Race 25k and 50k.  I have been pouring my “extra” time-read this as late nights-into my baby.  It is rolling and lots of people are registering.  I am constantly making new contacts in the Colorado Springs area to promote the event. These contacts are quickly turning into friends whom I imagine I will have long lasting relationships with.  More important to me than promoting the race is promoting a feeling of connectedness and building relationships that support all involved.  This means I am first wanting to give to runners a race that is worth their money, second I want to support local businesses, and in this process I would like relationships to be the byproduct of all the hard work. We have secured several sizable sponsors for the event, which, I believe, will make it a rockin’ race!  My gratitude goes out to:  Colorado Running Company for believing in our event and being the first to offer up prize money for athletes and Peak Performance Chiropractic for following suit and offering up more prize money to support the runners.  More sponsors are in-I am just organizing all of the details.  I have found my place once again in the running community.  The coolest thing is that this is something I have built and created on my own, but not by myself.  So-thanks to all of you who have jumped on board helping me organize, create, and pull off a great event!

The other cool thing is that Shaun ran his first half-marathon with me last night in the dark!  It was an adventure and I know it is a moment I will look back on once he leaves for the military life.  I am looking forward to sending him video emails when he is able to receive them and hoping he will find inspiration to dig a little deeper and find the place in him to smile while he is suffering boot camp!!  While I do not agree with war, I will say, that I am happy he has found something that motivates him and creates a desire to push a little harder and dig a little deeper.

I am off to bed-

I am blessed to have such an amazing group of athletes to work with, but I have to tell you when Laura C. wants to do something with me I get really excited and make sure I make it happen.  The girl is never unhappy.  Never.  Even when there are issues happening in her life she has a smile on her face and a sense of humor about all of it.  Mostly, everything she does is an adventure.  And she makes sure you know it is an adventure!  She inspires many people in her life through her simple act of doing.  She never preaches to people about how they can change or how they can do better or how they can do more.  She simply does more and does better and people follow along.  This girl knows everyone too, and if she doesn’t know you she will by the end of the conversation.  So-I have a great time with Laura.  Whether it is going to the museum, going to lunch, or running up Pike’s Peak.

This year one of her target races was Pike’s Peak Ascent.  Pike’s Peak Ascent is a crazy cool race, but one that requires dedicated training.  Participants come from all over the world; many never get to train at altitude or in the mountains.  I once met a guy who was from Texas, and yes I know Texas isn’t all that worldly, although he was from Austin, and I wondered how he got ready for the altitude.  He used heat training-your heart rate elevates similarly in heat as it does in high altitude.  Anyhow, my point is that we are lucky to have the mountain in our backyard to train on.  So, I got to have an adventure with Laura climbing Pike’s Peak!  Unfortunately, I have been really scatter-brained lately and once again, I forgot my camera-so no pictures.  But needless to say, we had a great time and Laura is killing it these days.  She is a pack horse- steady and strong.  Never really attacking, but running with some gumption and determination.  It has been really cool seeing this girl who had only completed 5K’s and sprint triathlon grow into an “I can do anything” athlete.

But you may be wondering why this story is name Pike’s Peak Revisited.  Well, a few years ago I signed up for and trained for the ascent.  Everything was great.  I ran Mt Evans Ascent for training and did lots of trail running.  The week of the race came and I got really sick.  I figured I would just lay low and take good care of myself and by the time Saturday came I would be healthy. Well Friday night came and I felt better but still was running a fever intermittently , but I still decided to drive down with the girls and see what race morning held.  It was pouring rain on our drive down to the Springs and chilly to boot.  Everyone was a little concerned about the weather and the race being cancelled.  It was an opportunity to get out of town and enjoy a beautiful hotel room and good times with good friends- so on we went.  Race morning was the same:  both health and weather.  I decided not to run the race as it was not my number one goal of the season and getting healthy was more important.  It was a difficult decision but the right decision.  The 2 girls I traveled with headed out to run and I waited in the warm hotel.  One of the gals got about 5 miles up before the race was cancelled and Michelle got about 10 miles in before it was called.  Her day was tough as she had only planned on running 13 miles and ended up running 20!  When the race gets cancelled you just turn around where you are and run back down to the bottom.  Awesome!  It was a good thing I decided not to go as the conditions just got worse the higher up the mountain you got.  So running with Laura up Pike’s Peak was a way for me to enjoy the mountain and show myself again that I was capable of conquering the mountain.

Maybe someday I will run the race, but for now I am content where I am.  Adventures make me happy and not having goals at the moment feels healthy.  For the longest time I believed you had to always have a goal and always be working towards goals to be considered a successful athlete.  How wrong I was.  Even pros take breaks and take time to enjoy the simple pleasure of going out on an adventure.  It makes the times that you are focused on your goals more enjoyable.  If you do the same thing day in and day out it becomes a little mundane.  And that is what I have been doing for the last 5 years.  I rode the same rides, ran the same runs, swam the same swims and, while I will admit it built a sense of tenacity in me, quite frankly, I got a little burned out!  Now when I am faced with running the same running route to prepare for something it seems fun again to have the desire to train and perform.  I know I have to run to run well and I know have time constraints, so I know I am running in the same place but I am willing to do it because I have a more balanced approach to my sport.

Running through the Switzerland of America

Another day living the Sweet Life.  Steve and I decided to head up the Million Dollar Highway and find a place to run/hike after our bike ride to Telluride.  We found some amazing things on the drive up.  A river flowing under the highway.  Some mountain flowers.  A little lake at the top of the pass.  Avalanche blowouts.  And lots of places to run.  There must be a million hidden treasures of trail runs in these mountains.  I know I am only seeing the tip of the iceberg.  It makes me want to go back and explore every weekend.  I have always said I never want to own a vacation home because I would have to spend time in one place.  Instead I would rather explore all different places.  Well Ouray may very well be changing my mind.  I think I could explore here every season of the year.  After a little bit of exploring we settled on a trail run called the Bear Creek Trail.

This trail is an old mining trail that takes you back to the Grizzly Bear Mine.  From the Grizzly Bear Mine you can connect to the Yellow Jacket Mine than eventually you would end up on a jeep trail called Engineer Pass, which is the first half of the “Alpine Loop” with Cinnamon Pass completing the second half of the loop. It is extremely scenic and very long.  Our trail for the day starts at 8400 feet and climbs to 10,000 feet in 2.4 miles.  The trail is part dirt and part broken slate and mostly switchbacks.  It is absolutely gorgeous and like nothing I have ever experienced.  I decided I wanted to take my time and really take in the experience of this trail.  All I could think about were the old miners traversing with their  carts and mules.  Insane!!  Spots on the trail were covered with avalanche debris.  The picture at the top of this post is a HUGE tree that had been pummeled by an avalanche!  It was absolutely crazy.  In one spot there was still snow sitting over the trail that if you slipped or the snow broke you would fall and die.  Here is why I love him:

Steve (stern and concerned): “Baby we are not going over that.  I am not letting you go.”

Me (unsure of how to handle someone telling me no): “But baby, we need to get to the mine.  I think we will be alright.”

Steve (hesitant, serious and father like-unsure of being with a crazy woman): “You are crazy.  There is no way we are going over that.  No.”

Me (desperately wanting to go over continuing to explore ways to get to the other side and satiate my need to explore):

” Look, there are footprints.  We can totally do it.”

Steve: (hesitant and scared) “Let me see.  Geez.  Why don’t you ever give up?  Alright, let me go first.”

Me (excited but now a little worried cuz my man could fall to his death):”Yeah!!”

Steve (a bit worried about falling to his death but somewhat playful): “Now you don’t think this is so fun do you.  I could fall and die!”

Me ( a bit worried):” Go baby!!  You will make it!!”

Steve (really worried cuz it’s my turn) ” Just follow my footsteps and you’ll be fine.  Take your time.”

Me: (thinking about how I could arrest a fall) “Holy Shit!  This is freakin scary!”

We made it

By the time you hit Yellow Jacket Mine you are at 11,100 feet after 4.2 miles.  There was a storm front blowing in so the top of the mountain was super windy and we could see a storm blowing in, so we headed back down to the car.  What took us 2 hours to ascend took us 30 minutes to descend!!  And just like that we were down and on our way back to Denver.  What an incredible weekend/beginning of the week.

Again, my Steve, thank you for being the voice of reason.  In the 9 star ki I am 1 water and you are 8 soil.  You are my rock.  You keep me grounded and flowing with purpose. I love you.